i hate being alive.

And so kissed. and we're together. it makes me happy.

This is getting interesting. I think I might like where this is going. I'm still so scared.

I'm hurt, I'm hurt, I'm oh so hurt.

I want to die, I want to die,
slit my wrists in suicide,
close my pain with another lie,
throw this pain and say goodbye,
i want to die i want to die,
never living, never alive,
always dead, never thrive,
i don't want to hurt anymore,
i don't want to feel pain,
i don't want to be angry,
and say things i regret,
i don't want to feel like this,
i don't want to hurt,
but it's too late for me, so just let me hurt.

god, WHAT. THE. FUCK. WHAT. THE FUCK.


i'm going to assume that you want to be friends. what.t he. fuck is wrong with me. i need to get drunk. fucking now.

So, due to my extreme lack of intelligence, I don't have my schedule. This is because I put that i was taking precalc over the summer. And i didn't. And didn't tell them. I assumed they knew, 'cause i didn't send in the paper. whatever. So, now, i don't have my schedule. 'Cause they're waiting for my test. Ugh. So, when i tell them that I'm not doing it anymore, when i call, this'll be a problem. I sincerely hope they don't give me a reject schedule. That'd fucking suck. I just want normal classes. Ugh. And my schedule might be late. ugh. fml. i'm such an idiot. a fucking moron. i really am. this is bullshit. i just want normal classes. i'm such an idiot.

She says to be persistent. But. It's getting harder to. And it seems like she doesn't know what I know, but maybe she does. I haven't the faintest clue. What bothers me, is that this could easily end up nowhere. And that would kill me. But it seems like she does like me. I just don't know anymore.